Operation:NetTalk Entry#012

February 6, 2007

News stories that interested me today…

Oregon Man Arrested For Using Stun Gun on 18-Month Old Son

(ALBANY) – A 21-year old mother contacted the Albany Police Department Saturday afternoon to report child abuse allegations against her husband.

She told officers that her husband, 23-year old Rian James Whittman, shot her 18-month old son repeatedly with a stun gun causing injury.

The investigation revealed that Rian James Whittman used a 100,000 volt stun-gun device multiple times on his 18-month old son over an approximately 3-week period.

The child was taken to Samaritan Albany General Hospital where he was examined and treated for injuries from the stun-gun. (Salem News)

Google me, Google you

I, Richard Chin, am a newspaper reporter and the writer of this article.

But did you know that I’m also a judge in Massachusetts, a Rhodes scholar, a squash pro, a martial arts expert and a male model?

Actually not me, but other people named Richard Chin.

I know this because I engage in an activity that bored, vain, self-centered, insecure people like me are prone to indulge in.

In other words, I Google myself. (Red Orbit)

A loo worth skipping too

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Roto-Rooter is offering an online sweepstakes for its “Pimped Out John,” a bathroom throne for the gadget junkie. The fully loaded Kohler commode comes with a Philips 20-inch LCD TV; Star Wars DVD; Xbox 360; Philips DVD player; Gateway EMachine laptop with robot arm, iPod with docking station equipped with a toilet paper dispenser; TiVo; stocked Avanti refrigerator with beer tap; magazine rack and subscriptions to Sports Illustrated, ESPN and GQ; bike pedal exerciser; cup warmer/cooler and Roto-Rooter emergency service button.

Credit: Roto-Rooter

 

Google Earth prompts Indian fears

Citing security worries the Indian government has asked Google to reduce the detail in a selection of images. The government is drawing up a list of places it considers sensitive, which is expected to include military bases and government buildings.

Many other areas in Google Earth have been blurred by governments keen to stop people seeing sensitive sites. (BBC News)

Two Skeletons Push Primates Closer to Dinosaur Era

Two newly reported complete skeletons of primates show that this group that includes humans’ closest relatives such as chimps and lemurs is 10 million years older than scientists previously thought, pushing our earliest ancestors even closer to the Age of Dinosaurs.

 

This discovery, the most primitive known skeleton of a primate, extends the primate record by a big chunk of geologic time and changes the prevailing view of how primate traits evolved.

“It’s sort of a window into what the earliest primates would have looked like,” said study author Jonathan Bloch of the Florida Museum of Natural History. (Live Science)

I Hate Macs

Unless you have been walking around with your eyes closed, and your head encased in a block of concrete, with a blindfold tied round it, in the dark – unless you have been doing that, you surely can’t have failed to notice the current Apple Macintosh campaign starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb, which has taken over magazines, newspapers and the internet in a series of brutal coordinated attacks aimed at causing massive loss of resistance. While I don’t have anything against shameless promotion per se (after all, within these very brackets I’m promoting my own BBC4 show, which starts tonight at 10pm), there is something infuriating about this particular blitz. In the ads, Webb plays a Mac while Mitchell adopts the mantle of a PC. We know this because they say so right at the start of the ad. (Guardian Unlimited)

Doctors mistakenly amputate baby’s arm and shoulder joint

A criminal case was filed in the Krasnodar region of Russia against a group of doctors, who caused severe bodily damage to a little girl aged only two months. The surgeons mistakenly amputated the girl’s right arm. (Crazy News)

 

Beheaded Ronald MacDonald Statue Found

– A Ronald McDonald statue taken from a family’s York County home last month was found beheaded in a wooded area over the weekend. The statue owned by the Grieger family disappeared January 15th. On Thursday, Joy Grieger found its severed head returned to her family’s Stewart stown property, complete with X’s drawn over its eyes. Police say the rest of the 300-pound statue turned up in Hopewell Township on Saturday. Grieger used to work at a McDonald’s, and her family adopted the statue decades ago. Police say the family did not know anything about its whereabouts until its cement head showed up on their lawn last week. The Griegers say they plan to offer a 500 dollar reward for information leading police to the culprits. Associated Press Article

 

 

 


Operation:NetTalk Entry#009

February 1, 2007

What Your Sleeping Positions Say About You

By Scott Roeben

What do your sleep positions say about you? What insights do your nocturnal contortions provide about your inner thoughts, your hopes and secret fantasies? For years, sleep experts have studied the relationship between how we sleep and how we feel. At last, the results of the research are available here—exclusively at Dribbleglass.com.

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A whopping 43 percent of us sleep on our backs. The position shows confidence and mental wellbeing. It expresses an openness and a generally bright outlook on life.

Many people sleep on their side. This popular position shows a small degree of insecurity, and often indicates growing stress overflowing from the sleeper’s waking hours.

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Sleeping on the stomach has been shown to correlate with hidden aggression. The “face down” position is often a precursor to dramatic and sometimes detrimental shifts in the sleeper’s emotional life.

This variation of lying on one’s back is known as the “Deathwish.” It is characterized by hands folded on one’s chest and shows the sleeper’s subconscious hope that he or she will be pushed into the path of an oncoming bullet train.

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The “L” position was first observed during the 1940s. Experts believe this fairly rare position reveals the sleeper’s secret yearning to swim in a giant vat of alphabet soup.

Referred to as the “Hazel,” this position clearly indicates that a sleeper harbors an unnatural desire to become a domestic servant.

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In this position—which utilizes a strategically positioned pillowcase—the sleeper reverts to infancy. It is clear this represents a longing for simpler times, as well as a profound urge to “go poopy.”

The unusual utilization of pillows in this configuration indicates a sexual timidity, usually brought on by some sexual dysfunction such as not being able to “get any” even after dating livestock.

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“The cheerleader”—likely to use pillow cases as makeshift pom-poms—has a need to “cheer” others on. This person often has a waking life full of shopping, spouting superficial cliches and “petting with really cool guys.”

The “Drooler” does just that. This isn’t exactly a sleep position, but we just think it’s icky.

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This position, the “Cousteau,” seems to be connected with the sleeper’s feelings they are “swimming against the current” in life, commonly mixed with a sense of “drowning with worry” or getting the love “bends.”

Scientists have no idea what this position represents, but it certainly does give one what experts call “the willies.”

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The “Roman Senator” harbors painful feelings of inadequacy. This position should not be confused with the “Braveheart,” which indicates painful feelings of wanting to rebel against one’s own “Longshank.”

It’s clear this sleeper wants to hide from his or her problems. He or she seeks to remain anonymous to the world, a place where he or she hates being referred to as “he or she.”

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This painful posture has been called the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” position by experts. It shows a deep-seated compulsion to default on loans from underworld figures with nicknames like “Johnny the Chin.”

These are some of the more common sleep positions. You may have some of your own. Listen to what your body is saying. Sometimes, of course, it’s not saying anything—it’s just making noises.


Operation:NetTalk Entry#008

January 31, 2007

Bizarre, sick, obscure news stories for today.

Student faces child porn charges

School-lunch streaker gets unexpected shock

Taped beatings a ‘new trend’

College Student Jailed For Two Days After Reporting Rape

Three charged in child prostitution

I won’t be happy until I lose my legs

Jumpers leave workers sleepless in Seattle

Sunburnt skin record bid

Update:

LAWMAKER AIMS TO ALLOW THE BLIND TO HUNT
(Texas, Reuters) – A Texas lawmaker is aiming to allow the blind to hunt. Texas State Representative Edmund Kuempel has introduced a measure that would allow blind people to hunt any game that sighted people can currently pursue. “This opens up the fun of hunting to additional people, and I think that’s great,” Kuempel told Reuters. The bill may find little resistance in Texas, where politicians of all stripes endorse hunting, which is wildly popular in the state. Under the bill, blind hunters would be required to have a sighted hunter with them and would be allowed to use laser sights and other devices that are currently not allowed. “A blind person can shoot a rifle by mounting an offset pistol scope on the side of the rifle instead of on top,” said Terry Erwin, the Austin-based Hunter Education Coordinator with the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department. “This allows their companion behind them to peer over their shoulder and help them sight it, but the blind person can pull the trigger,” he told Reuters.

WARM BEER LED TO KILLING, POLICE SAY

(Missouri) – A St. Louis man was shot to death over a warm beer, police said. St. Louis police say a woman shot her husband, who was about 70 years old, four to five times in the chest after he tried giving her a warm can of Stag beer. Police said the wife admitted shooting him about 5:40 p.m. in the kitchen of their home in the 5100 block of Terry Avenue. Police said the home had no electricity at the time. Homicide detectives would not identify the man. The woman, whom police also did not identify, was taken into custody.

WORLD’S TALLEST MAN SAVES CHOKING DOLPHINS
(China, AP) – The long arms of the world’s tallest man saved two dolphins in northeast China by reaching inside of them to remove plastic they had swallowed, state media reported. The dolphins at an aquarium in Fushun, Liaoning Province, had fallen sick after swallowing the plastic from the edge of their pool, and attempts to use surgical instruments to remove the plastic failed because of the contraction of the dolphins’ stomachs in response to the instruments. Veterinarians then decided to ask for help from Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-8 herdsman from Inner Mongolia. Bao, 54, was confirmed last year by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s tallest living man. Bao was able to reach deep enough into the dolphins to pull out the plastic. “Some very small plastic pieces are still left in the dolphins’ stomachs,” Zhu Xiaoling, a local doctor, told Xinhua. “However the dolphins will be able to digest these and are expected to recover soon.”

CONDOMS CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR SOME INDIAN MEN
(India, Reuters) – Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found. The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about one inch shorter than those condoms catered for. For a further 30 percent, the difference was at least two inches. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn’t do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use. “One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 percent of condoms is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis,” the council’s Dr. Chander Puri told Reuters, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry. Puri said many men in India, which has the world’s highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms. “We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs,” he said.

TONGUE MADE FROM BUTTOCKS
(Poland) – A Polish man who had his tongue removed has had a new one made using tissue taken from his buttocks. Jarislav Ernst, 23, from Gliwice, now has a functioning tongue made from his backside after surgery at the Oncology Clinic in Gliwice’s General Hospital. Head doctor Stanislaw Poltorek said, “The new tongue is alive and well-supplied with blood, and the patient is doing well.” Ernst’s tongue was removed after it was diagnosed with cancer. Dr. Poltorek added, “We removed the tumor-filled tongue, checking that there were no remaining cancerous cells around the patient’s mouth, then collected skin, fat and nerve tissue from the man’s buttocks and modeled that into a new tongue, which we sewed into his mouth.”


Operation:NetTalk Entry#006

January 28, 2007

A fresh patch of news stories. Sounds like I’m serving cookies. Hmmm… in a way, I am.

Lawmaker proposes allowing man’s best friend to be drinking buddy

Hold the coffee: scientist puts caffeine in doughnuts

Attraction to mannequins lands Detroit man in prison

China arrests men for murdering “ghost” brides

Guard shot, finishes shift but later dies

US woman fights off lion with pen

Bag of mice included in fast-food order; health agency sees it as isolated incident

Son Gets Six Months, Probation for Dismembering Mother

Police hunt pub urinal thief

Pee-wee may be heading back to his Playhouse. But for now, he’s happy to be Paul Reubens

Here are two sites that will zap away all thoughts of productivity.

Bored?

Onemorelevel


Operation:NetTalk Entry#003

January 24, 2007

A little off topic.

How do you know when you order in too much? Well, when you call to place an order and before you’re even able to finish rattling off your address you hear, “Ah, Mr. Norman, what can I get you tonight?”

Four Eyed Monster: Episode 3.5

A mathematical formula for procrastination


Operation:NetTalk Entry#002

January 23, 2007

Here are links to a few news stories that caught my eye today.

Music industry divided over digital future

Apple special event on February 20

Phone thief repents after 21 text messages

Shy out-of-towner lost in Queens for 5 days

Windows Vista

Strange But True

Bored? Ping an Airliner with Your Car’s Electronic Key

Illegal Use Of The Hands

Man charged for stalking, threatening barista

Busted for DWD: Driving while distracted